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Ben Carson

Friday 10th of July 2026

MD Republican Ben Carson's Pledge of Allegiance 2.0 I pledge allegiance to the millionaires and billionaires behind Grover Norquist's Taxpayer Protection Pledge, and to their interests above all others, so help me God, come hell or high water. The Pledge of Allegiance 2.0 is the implicit pledge made by signing Norquist's Taxpayer Protection Pledge © 2015 Kwiple.com
2016 Presidential primaries This is a strange election, isn't it? Man! You stab somebody and the newspapers say you didn't do it. And you say, “Yes, I did. I did it.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I did! I stabbed him and it hit the belt.” Donald Trump, on Ben Carson's insistence that, as a child, he tried to stab a classmate with a knife © 2015 Kwiple.com
Abortion During slavery, a lot of the slaveowners thought that they had the right to do whatever they wanted to that slave. Ben Carson, comparing women who have abortions to slaveowners © 2015 Kwiple.com
Abortion I would like to see it done in the right way. Ben Carson, who would like to make a public commitment to overturn Roe v. Wade , even in cases of incest or rape or when the mother's life or health is threatened, a prerequisite for being appointed to the Supreme Court © 2015 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight– and when they come out, they're gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say I never saw a body with bullet holes  that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was professionals that built the Titanic. Ben Carson, responding to critics who claim he lacks the experience needed to be president © 2015 Kwiple.com
Dead-in-the-heads say There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great- grandsons, great-granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land. Ben Carson, who thinks slaves were immigrants who came here searching for the American Dream © 2016 Kwiple.com
Death You have to die from something. Ben Carson, when asked about being a doctor who eats fried chicken © 2015 Kwiple.com
Evolution I personally believe that this theory that Darwin came up with was something that was encouraged by the adversary. Ben Carson referring to Satan, which is Hebrew for “adversary” © 2015 Kwiple.com
Global warming There is no overwhelming science that the things that are going on are man-caused and not naturally caused. Ben Carson, September 8, 2015 © 2015 Kwiple.com
Gun violence Guy comes in, puts the gun in my ribs. And I just said, “I believe you want the guy behind the counter.” I redirected him … The resolution was, he went to the appropriate person behind the register, who gave him the money and he left the store running before the police got there. Ben Carson, on a robbery at a Popeye's in Baltimore © 2015 Kwiple.com
Gun violence Not only would I probably not cooperate with him, I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, “Hey guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can't get us all.” Ben Carson, on what he would do if a gunman like the one at Umpqua Community College walked up to him and asked his religion © 2015 Kwiple.com
Kwiple dictionary basket of deplorables (bas'kit ov di plôr'ə bəls), n. Collective name for Trump's major supporters and allies, including: Michael G. Flynn, propagator of the Pizzagate conspiracy theory; Michael T. Flynn, pizzagater's father and inventor of “Flynn facts;” Scott Pruitt, climate denier; Kellyanne Conway, Minister of Propaganda and inventor of “alternative facts;” Rex Tillerson, Putin's friend; Tom Price, advocate for doctors' welfare; Ben Carson, stabbing expert and Jesus's buddy; Ryan Zinke, the “[Briefly Acting] American Commander” © 2017 Kwiple.com
Muslims I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Reich wingers say I think the likelihood of Hitler being able to accomplish his goals would have been greatly diminished if the people had been armed. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Reich wingers say Read Mein Kampf. Ben Carson, on how to understand Barack Obama © 2015 Kwiple.com
Reich wingers say We live in a Gestapo Age. People don't realize it. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Reich wingers say What happened in Nazi Germany? I dare say the vast majority of German people did not believe what Hitler believed. But they didn't speak up, and you see what the result was. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Republican kiss-asses say Appointing department heads who are ignorant about its area of concern and opposed to its mission is the Right thing to do  © 2018 Kwiple.com
Same-sex marriage My thoughts are that marriage is between a man and a woman. It's a well-established, fundamental pillar of society and no group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality. It doesn't matter what they are. They don't get to change the definition. Ben Carson, comparing gays to people who engage in child sexual abuse and bestiality © 2015 Kwiple.com
Same-sex marriage They can go right down the street and buy a cake, but no, let's bring a suit against this person because I want them to make my cake even though they don't believe in it. Which is really not all that smart because they might put poison in that cake. Ben Carson, suggesting anti-gay-rights bakers may poison wedding cakes made for gays © 2015 Kwiple.com
Selfie I'm probably never going to be president because I'm not a politician. I don't want to be a politician because politicians do what is politically expedient. I want to do what's right. Ben Carson, announcing 2016 presidential campaign © 2015 Kwiple.com
Selfie I'm the only one to separate Siamese twins, the only one to operate on babies while they were still in their mother's womb, the only one to take out half a brain, although you would think, if you go to Washington, that someone had beat me to it. Ben Carson, retired neurosurgeon, Republican presidential debate, August 5, 2015 © 2015 Kwiple.com
Selfie My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say I think poverty to a large extent is also a state of mind. You take somebody who has the right mindset, you can take everything from them and put them on the street, and I guarantee you, in a little while, they'll be right back up there. And you take somebody with the wrong mindset, you could give them everything in the world – they'll work their way back down to the bottom. Ben Carson © 2017 Kwiple.com
Sleepers at the wheel say Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
War If you're gonna have rules for war, you should just have a rule that says no war. Other than that, we have to win. Ben Carson © 2015 Kwiple.com
 
Women There is no war on women. There may be a war on what's inside of women, but there is no war on women in this country. Ben Carson, denying the Republicans' war on women © 2015 Kwiple.com